The Way we Engage the World Matters.


My desire is to be a woman of God who witnesses well to my family, to the world and brings Glory to the One I love. That said, the way I engage with the world matters a whole lot.

I'm reading the Acts this morning and was struck by the way in which Paul and Barnabas engage in conflict (Acts 15).

The Word says they have a "sharp" disagreement, but there is no evidence of hate, painting one party as the villain or ill will on either side. There is context to be considered, yes. Yet, given our culture both within the world AND the church, I feel this is especially pertinent to how we conduct ourselves as Christians.

This is the most I will speak of current world affairs; as our country and world navigates through hurt, fear, anger, hate and the like I will turn to Jesus and ask for His wisdom and guidance. I refuse to be moved by solely my emotions and take action (in word or deed); rather I will take my emotions, return to what and Who I know to be true, and test those emotions in the safety of His presence. Does what I feel line up with what and Who I know to be true? 

Let's seek His wisdom, peace, love and gentleness together as we navigate through this season, Christians. It will serve the world and the One we love well.

The devotion that spurred this:

She Reads Truth

Dear Jesus Follower: you were made to run.




Dear Jesus Follower,

What is it that weighs you down in the marathon of faith? What is separating you from experiencing Jesus? Are there things that hinder you from hearing the voice of God in your life? Are they things that you've tried to let go of, but it's as if they were attached to you with super glue and you just can't seem to shake them off? Are you feeling disheartened because you feel helpless and stuck?

I know early in my faith, I was so frustrated that I couldn't just, "get it together." Life seemed to be falling apart, I was not experiencing any joy, and I was so sad that I was - so I thought - a giant disappointment and failure. 

Lies.

I believe; help my unbelief!

One of my favorite things about being home is the ability to sit at my kitchen table with a big cup of coffee in the morning overlooking our big, beautiful tree and pasture and mediate on God's truth through the devotional www.shereadstruth.com.

So. Good.

View from my kitchen from the winter time.

This morning's scripture was regarding faith and Hebrews 1:1-40 and Mark 9:24 were the focuses.

I will admit, there are times I read my bible, stare at the pages and think, "How is this possible? How could this be true?" Yet, time and time again, I reflect on the many times the unbelievable has happened in my life. The times when God has undeniably showed up. 

Where the magic happens.

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

    O Lord my God, you are very great!

You are clothed with splendor and majesty,
2 
    covering yourself with light as with a garment,
    stretching out the heavens like a tent.
Psalm 104:1-2

Our last day after a month at The Malibu Club in British Columbia, Canada. 
Those of you who know us well know that our little family has been off the grid for some time. This last month, we have had the pleasure of serving over 1,000 high school kids and leaders up at The Malibu Club in British Columbia, Canada.

Why Grace is Key in Raising a Miniature Ninja

Today was a particularly hard day in the life of Gavin and Susie. The struggle was REAL.

My son is adorable, yes. I often say it's a good thing God made him cute because my little love has the perfect makeup for the most terrible twos. I know, I know. Every parent has the stories about their kids and their terrible twos, but truly, I have never seen a case like my son. So to be honest, I'm not even mad...he's pretty amazing {name that movie}.

My kid is fast. Fast, as in I wonder if he has disappearing powers, fast. The speed in which he moves -- climbing, running, jumping...it's incredible. And then you have his incredibly active, mechanical and inquisitive mind. The kid has been doing puzzles since...forever. And, he puts them together in lightening speed (there it is again, fast). He just gets how things work. Needless to say, he has outsmarted most all baby-proofing. And then there's independence...the kid wants to do all things on his own. Offer help before he asks for it? Get a seriously wild tantrum. He wouldn't even cuddle with me until he turned two -- and then I think the only reason he wanted to was because he knew it would mean staying up later than normal. Whatever...I'll take it. Perhaps due to all the activity, the kid eats a TON of food. Literally, he eats as much as me. Whatever I eat, I double for him. Gavin's beloved "Cinny" who watches him -- and has watched kiddos in her home for many, many years -- said she's only seen one other kid who can hold a candle to Gavin's appetite. Finally, he is ridiculously strong willed. We have been consistent and tried many forms of loving discipline. We have sought counsel. I am on my third book. So badly we just want to give him healthy boundaries so that he grows up knowing that he is loved, but that the world does not revolve around him (as I believe I am loved, but the world is about and revolves around a man named Jesus; not Susie); yet two-year-old Gavin is not quick to accept that. Are you tired just reading this? Yeah, me too. I'm raising a toddler-sized Chuck Norris. 

I know he looks harmless and all, but you guys. This kid. It's getting REAL in the West house.


So, tonight...my back went out so I headed to the chiropractor and my son decided it would be fun to gag himself the entire car ride while mommy repeatedly said no...and consequently barfed all over himself. I changed him, brought him inside the chiropractor and he ran around like a mad-man refusing to sit down. I promptly swooped up my miniatuare sized ninja and got the heck out of there. After I put Gavin in the car seat and I sat taking deep breaths (Daniel Tiger says take a deep breath and count to 4 and I think it might work...sing it with me anyone?) and once the anger subsided, tears began to flow. The thoughts/lies began: "Why am I the worst mom alive? Why does my son hate me? Why can't I just make him behave?" 

In that moment I sent a novel sized text to a friend in my community group from church who has a strong willed child as well -- we have commiserated about the kicking/screaming moments a time or two. She responded so gracefully and practically and at the end reminded me, "If I didn't believe Jesus was after my child's heart I might lose all hope!" 

I was reminded in that moment that it is not my job to save my child. It's also not my job to raise him on my own. I'm also not the only one who loves him and cares about him...my God is after his heart. So, I prayed with hands in the air, surrendered and Jesus gave me two miracles -- a deep feeling of peace that my kid is going to be okay {as will I} AND my little love fell asleep for bed at 7 pm. So, I made a whole batch of cookies all for myself. I deserve earned them, don't judge. {p.s. if you're a paleo peep, these are to die for: Elena's Chocolate Chip Cookies}

So, if you too are parenting a mini-Chuck Norris, remember that Someone greater than we is after our children's precious hearts. Let's be good stewards, but leave the saving to the Savior. 

We are not named by our circumstances, we are named by our good God.



Overwhelmed. 
Tired.
Defeated.
Failure. 
Bad mother, wife, friend, daughter etc.

I knew almost a year ago I was stepping into a tough season. I knew the next several months to a year or longer were going to be difficult, trying, tiring; yet I believed the Lord had prepared me and steadied my feet for the task ahead. He had given me vision, dreams, words and people who spoke into what was ahead and gave me clarity. I was confident, equipped and clearly called as I walked forward into this difficult season, because although everything around me was grey and clouded and unclear, my God had set a light before me to guide me along the way. A friend shared this with me last evening, and it's perfect for the season I've been struggling in: it's the imagery of a long, dark tunnel. It's cold, dreary, dark and a little scary. Yet, at the end of the tunnel, there is a light beckoning you to put one foot in front of the other in faith that once again the warmth and comfort of the light will greet you. I have been in that tunnel. I have been cold. I have felt alone. I have been frightened. Yet, I have seen glimpses of light and the Lord has equipped me to continue along the journey, having faith that what is ahead is His will and that makes the tunnel bearable.

That was, until about two weeks ago. I put my head down and began to believe lies - lies that I could not walk forward because I had a new name; overwhelmed, tired, defeated, failure, bad mother. Yet, my God is good and gracious and He in His sovereign provision called out these lies, one after another and redirected my eyes toward the names He has ordained for me; more than able, daughter of the King, equipped, Loved, called, perfect (in Him and Him alone). 

We must not forget friends that we have an enemy who longs to destroy us when our circumstances are burdensome and heavy. He tempts us to carry the weight on our own, stare at the circumstances and claim them as our identity. When our circumstances become our identity we are defeated. We claim our good God with our head, but we lose sight of him in our hearts and we are overcome. We become like Naomi in Ruth 1; we change our names to bitterness as she did in the wake of great loss; or for me, to overwhelmed, tired, defeated, failure, bad mother, wife friend, daughter, etc. When our identities are compromised and not set firm in whom our good God claims us to be -- perfect, holy, without blemish, beautiful, His children, all in light of the sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ -- we become weary. We search for meaning and we search for the light (retail therapy, anyone...or is that just me?) and we have forgotten that it's simply in trust of who our God claims us to be. In His Love. In trusting His plan, even when circumstances are hard. And when we trust; when we realign our sights with His, the light reappears. It again beckons us to put one foot in front of the other as we obediently pursue our good God. And we trust what He tells us in Romans 8:28, that: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."

We trust that He is working for our good even when our circumstances threaten to bury, overwhelm and defeat us. We must remember that our Savior, Jesus Christ, has defeated the grave; he could not be buried, overwhelmed or defeated and as we identify as His, He promises the same for us.

Look forward friends and claim the Light. It beckons you forward.



If you're intrigued by what inspired this post, please visit She Reads Truth.

Thinking out loud.

Ever have a day when you are just so overwhelmed the only thing you can do is nothing? Or laundry? Or clean your kitchen again for the thousandth time? Mindless tasks seem to take over my life when I am overwhelmed, and they are not helpful. So, I have decided, no more. I'm striking back at the mindless activities that do nothing to help my overwhelmed-ness (no, that's not a word) and I am going to THINK about why I am overwhelmed.

I think another word for overwhelmed in this scenario is stressed. I feel stressed. Whenever I tell people I am stressed I get something like, "Oh it's just a season," or, "This too shall pass," or, "That's life."

Quick tip, people: cliché are not helpful, they are mean. Don't offer a cliché to a hurting person. Ever. Just don't. 

You're welcome.

I have the best job ever (Area Director for Young Life in Auburn), but it is also the hardest job ever, and I really could use about 1782824 more hands right now to help. If you're one of the very MANY people who are helping me already, know you are appreciated and so valued. Seriously. Look at this board. Everything in pink signifies a person who is filling a role for our big event in March. Isn't that insane? And that's just one event. 

There are more than 150 people who will make Young Life Live a success.
The Lord has given me a big vision for Auburn Young Life, and while I know it's His vision, so he will take care of it and bring all that we need, the bigness of it just knocks the breath out of me sometimes. And then the Lord stretches out his oh-so-strong right hand, picks me up off the ground, looks me in the face and says, "Eyes on me." No clichés. Just love.

Oh -- and then {as in right now} he sends down my committee chair, who walks in with chocolate and my favorite coffee and gives me a hug. That helps too. 

Young Life Live will be wonderful and then it will pass. Then, I will be looking in the face of this thing we do called Young Life Camp (and a golf tournament, and an auction, and....) in which we take all sorts of kids, including many who cannot afford school lunch, to a Young Life resort that can cost upward of $750 big one's. HUNDREDS of kids from Auburn will go to camp. Sounds insane, doesn't it? It is. It's incredibly and beautifully insane that we take kids to places like Young Life's Malibu Club, Creekside and Canyon who have never stepped foot on a resort; who have never laughed for days on end; who have never eaten a meal around a table with people who love them; who have never really discussed their life with anyone (other than 180 characters at a time on Twitter); who have never been told they are loved, cherished and adored by the Savior of the universe. These kids have never experienced something that was so tailored and made just for them -- so incredible of an experience that they exclaim at the end of their time, "That was the best week of my life!" Over and over again. And they mean it.

I love my job. 

Young Life's Malibu Club

I just needed a good laugh. Look at this hilarity.
Forget the "job." Now let's talk about coming home, making dinner, doing the dishes, changing poopy diapers, soothing temper tantrums, editing college essays, laughing until it hurts and crying in exhaustion. I cry, "TOO MUCH, CAN'T DO IT" and Joey just points me to Jesus. And then helps with the dishes, which helps. Oh, and he's the one making me laugh until I cry, which really helps as well. He's sort of the best.

And then there's Gavin giggles.

And chocolate.

And moments like this to my right.

And the fact that for a whole day, my job was to jump on a mini trampoline in a mullet with velcro shoes. Oh, and I got to witness kids meeting Jesus. {YL staff and being a YL leader is seriously the best}

In the end, my only real conclusion is that I choose overwhelmed. I choose to live this life.  I choose to run after the craziness that the Lord has set before me. I choose the impossible. I choose the "this-makes-no-sense" life. I choose it, because every day, every week and every year, being involved with this mission reminds me that Jesus is so ever present, and so ever real. And, the fact that I am overwhelmed is just ridiculous, because none of this is in my hands anyway.

And now, I think I am ready to get back to work.





And just because he's cute.






An adventure called change.

We have been through quite the series of changes in the last 2 months and we are JUST feeling like we're beginning to process them. Why you might ask? Well...in December we were celebrating Gavin turning one, the Christmas season, birthday party madness; then New Years and six days later left on a plane (Susie, Gavin and Auntie Lissy) to St. Augustine for 6 days YL training. Then, we had meetings on meetings on meetings in January, big changes for YL, an all day training one weekend, a middle school camp the next...I'm getting tired just recounting everything that's been going on!

Gavin's First Birthday Party: A Mustache Bash!
Photo courtesy of Anchor Images (Katy Leslie).
Gavin eating his first [paleo] cupcake at his birthday party! Gavin vs. Cupcake
Photo Courtesy of Anchor Images (Katy Leslie)


Cupcake Smash: The Result.
Photo courtesy of Anchor Images (Katy Leslie)
Susie & Gavin in St. Augustine

On January 2, Joey officially began the first day of his new career. His new role is leading business development for a strategic technology consulting business called Praece (means "progress" in latin) focused on offering tech business solutions to small and medium sized businesses. Praece has clients from Auburn to London (yes, the UK), and offers strategic tech assessments (translation: tell us how you currently function and we'll strategize how to make you more efficient through the latest technologies), project management (implementing new technologies for increased efficiency & profitability) and service and support (IT support from really nice guys who won't make fun of you for not using google first). Joey is really excited about his new job because 1) he truly believes the services Praece provides save businesses a ton of time and money and therefore is extremely valuable 2) the guys at Praece are really good at what they do; and 3) he's enjoying his coworkers, this new (to him) industry and learning new things every day.

On the home front, Joey's new career meant two things for our family.

  1. For the first time in several years/Gavin's life we are experiencing routine...things like eating dinner together, going to sleep at the same time, and watching NBC Thursday Nights together (so sad it's the last season of The Office). 
  2. We are now paying for childcare which is expensive, but worth every. single. penny. Our nanny (little sister of a great friend) comes to the house Tuesday-Thursday and is A-MAZING. We love her. Gavin loves her. It's bliss...until the spring/summer when she moves to be closer to her amazing musician boyfriend in Nashville. Yay for her...boo for us! Enjoying the time now. Here a few photos of Gavin she sent to me this week:

Finally, I have realized a few things in the last month. First, in the craziness that has been our life [the last few years], I recently realized I have not been taking the time to do things I need to be doing to function as a healthy human being and truly enjoy life. First, I have not taken time to process. Life, change, loss...what have you. When you do not process life, you become numb. Numbness is not fun, and it is not healthy. Secondly, I have not taken time to pursue things that I really enjoy. Writing, hiking [yes, I like to hike], biking, fashion, exploring new places...the list could go on. Thirdly, I have realized I have a tendency to be discontent, and I am really eager to root this out of my life. I am blessed and I want to feel that richly.
Here's what's awesome: I have had an incredible year of falling in love with my son and falling more in love with my husband. Life is not terrible by any means. Yet, I know by pursuing personal/emotional health and passions, I will be a better Christ follower, wife, mom, friend, daughter. So, 2013 is a year of pursuit. 

Pursuit #1: writing. yes, writing. 

I love to write. In my previous life as a public relations professional, I was able to write all. day. long. The problem was though, I had to write about things and try to sell products/businesses to journalists that I simply didn't care about...well, most of the time (BabyLegs or Tom Douglas I would work for again in a heart beat- never mind time constraints). Enter: Young Life. I get to work for Young Life. It's awesome. I love it. Our mission is my passion. BUT, I no longer get to write, which I believe is a God given talent and passion. SO, I have decided to transform our blog into a space on the web where I can write (maybe process - that emotional health thing I was talking about), look for the beauty in life (and root out that ugly discontentedness), and share tid-bits with people that I find valuable, exciting or share-worthy (exercise my passion for writing and publicist still stirring inside of me). What is a tid-bit? Anything from wifely/mommy truisms, a product I cannot live without or perhaps a really cute picture of my son (count on those). These things said: 
  1. expect a blog transformation in the next week or so. I'm really excited about it. 
  2. expect to laugh at me - I will be laughing at myself, too (learning not to take myself so seriously).  
  3. expect me to share my opinion...just like every other blogger on the world wide web (shocking).
  4. expect honesty and reality.
And that's it. With that...here is a really cute video of my son. :)







Family Photography Session with ADN Designs

Two words: Anna. Nodolf. Two more words: ADN Designs. Two more words: Book. Her.

You can also visit her work here: Anna's Facebook Page.

We had a blast taking our family photos with Anna, and will cherish the results for decades to come.











It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

The holidays began for the West's with a great and full Thanksgiving day celebrating with both sides of our families. We're so thankful to have everyone close by. Gavin was a little grumpy on his first Thanksgiving, but cutting three teeth in one week would make me grumpy too.
After Thanksgiving, both Gavin and Susie were feeling sort of yucky, so we decided not to go out of town as we had planned, and spend lots of time at home decorating for Christmas.
...And then it happened. Gavin became really ill, and was doing some things that scared the both of us, so we took a trip to Covington, were transferred to the ER, and then were tranferred to the Mary Bridge pediatric ER. We all (mom, dad and doctors) thought there was a serious issue, but after his fever broke, we realized all of his symptoms were the result of a serious fever and consequent virus. He gave us quite the scare, but we're so thankful it was not something serious and that we had a wonderful, wise doctor at Mary Bridge who pinpointed the problem. *Bonus: for those of you who know our little Gavin and his constant squirminess, Sunday's ER visit resulted in a month's worth of snuggles. Not my favorite way to get snuggles, but I'll take what I get. :)
 
 
When we returned home from the hospital, Gavin was pretty lethargic. He didn't do a whole lot other than snuggle, drink "ba-ba's" and walk around looking at the Christmas decor like a drunkkard. Seriously though, his equilibrium is off because of his sickness, and he looks like a lush. It's hilarious.
 
 
 It's our favorite time of year, and we're excited to document Gavin as he is captured by the wonder of Christmastime! Merry start to the Christmas season from our family to yours!
 
 
 



Gavin is...WALKING.



He is on the go...and we are just trying to keep up!

Fall = Fun!

WOW, it's been awhile since we posted.

Gavin is now 10 Months...WHOA. He is super fun. He's been crawling for a few months now and just started taking steps: his record is 14. I would by no means say his little wobble is walking, but he is getting close! We keep telling him to take his time. :)

These photos are from our trip yesterday to the Pumpkin Patch. We went with our great friends Garrett and Sabrina...they were so fun to be with and Gavin loves them both! Gavin had a blast and I think the photos tell the story.


On the way there...

Huge pumpkin with Daddy!

Take 1

Take 2
Take 3!

Loved this!


Boys & Tractors :)

Gav and Momma



Recent Adventures.

We've had some fun, eventful times as a family lately! We had a fun day exploring Pike Place Market, and Madison Park and Beach; we went to the Martin & Paulson family picnic at Lake Wilderness; braved the 90+ heat (for Seattle, this is a big deal); went boating with Grandma Jane and Grandpa Jim and learned and played a lot at home, too. Photos from our explorations are below!

In other news, we're super excited for August. Right now, Aunt Val from NJ (Susie's side) is here and Grandma Scorza & Uncle Rich (formerly from NJ, now from Pennsylvania) is coming up late this week and Grandma Betty and Grandpa Bob are coming the end of August! AND Gavin will be 8 months. Pretty crazy how time flies.

XO.

Fun day in Seattle with Joey, Gav and Cousin Jonathan!


Gavin loving the big Ducky at Cost Plus World Market. 


Watching his cousin play at Madison Park.

Cousin was "protecting" Gavin from....something. :) Gavin was LOVING it.

Naked boy at bath time. His FAVE time.

Dressed up and ready to play at the Martin/Paulson family picnic!


Giggle time with Daddy!

On Grandpa Jim & Grandma Jane's Boat.
He really likes to splash in the water...nonstop...and has given himself pink eye doing so TWICE now.
So, we tried goggles. They worked for like 5 minutes. It was cute at least!

Sleeping on G&G Jim & Jane's boat. So cute.  
Looking outside for Daddy!

Ellie copied him. He was intrigued, as always, with Ellie.